I told my boyfriend that he could ‘stick his Sober October deal somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine’ and that I was going to have a glass of wine whether he liked it or not!
I told him I was tired of him being The Wine Police!
To my surprise, he seemed shocked and bizarrely agreed that it was a lovely restaurant, so why don’t we just enjoy ourselves.
But I just couldn’t settle. I just couldn’t calm down.
That first glass of chardonnay went down like prohibition was only half an hour away!
So, I ordered another glass, and I could see my boyfriend starting to get mad at me again about my drinking… but this just made me even more determined to get drunk…
I told him to back off and to stop criticizing me.
I was drinking fast and furiously and suddenly realized I was quite drunk.
My boyfriend suggested we should leave, so I made my way to the bathroom before our journey home.
As I reached the bathroom, the light was still flickering on and off, and as I turned to lock the door, the light went off…
It was completely dark!
I was also bursting to go to the toilet, so I figured out where the toilet bowl was, then I took my pants down and straddled my legs either side of the bowl.
I was so relieved to be going to the toilet; I was in a trance state…
But then I thought it was a bit odd…
There was this warm liquid going into my underwear, then my thighs and my new white jeans!
Then it dawned on me…
The toilet seat lid must be down… and the urine was bouncing off the top of the lid directly into my underwear!!!
Then right down to the inside of my shoes!
My feet were swimming in my ‘wine warm’ urine!
I was horrified!
Within a nano-second, I became incredibly anxious and fearful about how I was going to get out of this situation without my boyfriend knowing.
I left the toilet cubicle saturated with urine from the waist down. I was madly trying to pat myself dry with hand towels, but I knew it wasn’t going to do anything!!!
By this time, I knew my boyfriend would be getting irritated that I was taking so long in the bathroom…
Now, I don’t know if you have ever been in this horrific and embarrassing situation, but with a few wines under my belt…
I couldn’t figure out an easy explanation apart from being drunk and that there was no excuse!
I couldn’t figure out what else to say except the light went off, and I pissed my pants!
So, I went back to the table and told my boyfriend I wasn’t feeling very well, trying to escape as quickly as possible.
As I went to put my coat on to cover my saturated backside, he grabbed me and held me and for a few moments… fear engulfed me and the sheer terror of him knowing what had happened and then I thought…
Maybe he couldn’t feel the wet bits…
But we just looked at each other, and I knew he knew!